Maybe I am wrong...

So yesterday when my husband came home from work he was really tired. The night before was a little rough because he actually slept in the bedroom and Alexis screamed all night so he didnt get much sleep. Then at like 5am the Wing Commander decided it would be fun to have a recall and he had to go into work. So, him being tired is understandable. So he sat down on the couch and fell asleep, he told me to wake him up at 6pm, so I did. I told him it was 6 and I asked him if he wanted to take Alexis; he said no. So I was like oh ok, and walked away. He must have felt guilty because he was like I will take her, I am just tired. I was like no its ok, you are tired get some rest. But inside I was to my boiling point. So I just stay at home all day and take care of the baby... I try to do school work but by the time I am in the middle of it she starts crying, I attempt to clean while she is napping but it seems like I never get anything clean! I am up all night and all day with her and usually I dont get to sleep until like midnight, get up about 3 times during the night and then we wake up all early because she doesnt want to be in bed anymore! So yea, he goes to work but is what I do not considered work of some kind? Yea I don't wake up everyday and put on a uniform anymore but I am lucky if I have the energy to change my clothes or the time. I never believed people when they said you will start weighing what's more important, I thought I would be able to get everything done! It just upsets me that he only wants to give me a break on the weekends... all I want is enough time to take a relaxing bath without feeling rushed.

How do people do this with more than one??!!!

So... I love my daughter, Alexis, more than anything in the world. Next, I suppose, would be my husband, Armando! BUT!! Adjusting to having a newborn is definately hard for me to do! I always thought it would be just the easiest thing, I have taken care of many small children but what I didn't realize was that taking care of my nieces and taking care of MY daughter is different! I spent almost the ENTIRE night last night being awake with her while she screamed... it was very frusterating. Most of the time I wanted to cry too, in the past week I have had less sleep than when I was a wild partying teenager and only slept a couple hours each night! Exhaustion is not even a good enough word to describe it. But never-the-less I love her and she is just the cutest little girl I have ever seen. No matter how much she screams because she has the worst gas ever, I still love her!

Now to complain about the state of Kansas! I need to be away from here, it is ridiculous. There is nothing to do and I dislike it here very much. I am hoping that the Air Force fixes everything of my husband's that they have messed up and we can request a move. Tampa, Florida is where I am shooting for. My mom is down there and the beach is down there. Plus right now it is like 2 degrees here with ice everywhere, in Tampa is it not 2 degrees and there is sand everywhere! My mom is hoping for that to happen also because while she is down there in the Winter she would like to be able to see her granddaughter, I would like that too. The only bad part is that my dad is down there with her in the Winter and it would make me sad to see him reject his grandchild because her dad is Panamanian. But I suppose life goes on!

I am going to stop complaining for now, I am sure there will be more later! :)