So maybe I am nuts or maybe it is normal but it just does not seem normal!
I find myself thinking about all the bad things that "could" happen to Alexis... and me... I constantly worry about the "what ifs" and just horrible things that would probably never happen but in my head... oh my crazy little head!... they always happen! Last night I was laying in bed, please dont think I am nuts, and I layed there for hours playing an awful "what if" senerio in my head.
I was laying there thinking about going to walmart (there is like 5 different ones here), I was going to go to the walmart by Kohls because I needed to exchange an outfit anyway but as I kept thinking about it - I imagined that I parked on the right side of the parking lot and got out of the car, as I was walking around the back of my car to get Alexis out of the passengers side a car pulled up and a guy got out and grabbed me and as the car pulled away with me inside my poor little baby was still inside my car laying there with no one to help her. I thought about this repeatedly all night - my hands were sweating, I felt like I was going to puke and I caused myself to be in tears! I felt so bad for even thinking it. It's not something I want to happen, it is a crazy unbelieveable fear that I have... it's ridiculous! It's not the only one either, they range from someone breaking in the house, a car running through an intersection and hitting us, someone shooting a gun and it hitting the baby - I dont know what to do... I thought about going to talk to someone but then what am I going to tell them? That I am obsessively having horrible thoughts about what could happen!!!??? It just seems crazy when I think about it! I told my husband today and he was like I am sorry... but really he does not understand! He said he did not understand because he was not having them but that it would be ok... which is very nice of him but am I going to spend the rest of my life feeling like I am going to vomit from worrying??? I mean I am fine with a little worrying but this is NUTS!!! I feel better now that it is out of my head though! Thanks for listening to my crazy thoughts!
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I'm pretty sure you will think about what might happen to her for the rest of your life! You just need to accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, and learn to know the difference between the two. Calm down! ;) More than likely, NONE of those things will happen to her, so why worry? Seriously, calm down.
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